Reflection: Sadie's BIRTHday

My daughter Sadie loves to hear about the day she was born. “Tell me the story when you cried because I was a girl.” I laugh. “Sadie, I would have cried regardless if you were a boy or a girl. I was so happy to have a baby.” But Sadie is right. I REALLY did cry when they announced that she was a girl. I was just so surprised.

Today is Sadie’s birthday!

Eleven years ago Sadie arrived via cesarean section. I didn’t know her gender so I assumed I was having another boy. My heart pined for a daughter but my mind didn’t allow the attachment - too much. I love boys, and if I had a second boy, I know that brothers have a special bond. But in my heart, I wanted a daughter.

My mom convincingly told me I was carrying another boy. “Oh Seera, you look the exact same as you did when you were pregnant with Brewster. ” My mid-western mom says my name with a strong Chicago accent. Hindsight twenty-twenty, I looked the same because both of my babies were breech - folded in half with their head and feet up and butt down. Very yogic.

It was news to me in 2004 that my son was breech. A few days before his birth my OB told me the baby’s head was down. A couple days later, consistent contractions swept over me and then my labor abruptly stopped. Two days later, I contracted again. This time my labor was real. Did my son flip in my false labor or if my doctor called it wrong? I still wonder.

I showed up at the hospital at 1am and a nurse checked my dilating cervix. She smuggly said,. “I don’t see a head. You know what that means?”. Contracting, sweating, overwhelmed, I said. “NO. I don’t know what that means. I know nothing, this is my first baby. “ I could have smacked her.

In a sing-songy voice she said ““SEEEE-Section.”

Shocked, I tried to digest that I was not going to have an unmedicated birth. Our twelve weeks of Bradley natural childbirth education would not be useful in the operating room. Disappointed and desperate, I begged for time to turn the baby. Could I stand on my head or summersault in a pool? Acupuncture? My requests were futile. It is nearly impossible to turn a baby in active labor. The good news was that my OB was near by. Being the holidays, her mom had just arrived from NYC. My doctor and her boyfriend picked up her mom at the airport and drove to the hospital. My doctor’s boyfriend and mom waited in the lobby while my son was born.

Flash forward, nearly four years later, my baby was breech again. I wanted desperately to turn her and try a VBAC (Vaginal birth after cesarean). Hypnosis, acupuncture and the magic of our local prenatal chiropractor had not worked. Our last attempt was a manual turn that had to be done in a hospital by a doctor. Despite having the reputation of being painful, I wanted to try. The day before Sadie’s birthday, my husband and showed up at the hospital for an ultra-sound. No dice. Like her brother she was frank breech. Her butt was down. Without legs to kick around, our only choice was another cesarean.

“Would you like to go back for surgery now?” My doctor asked after relaying the news. “ Yes.No.” Matt and I spoke simultaneously. Matt was ready. I needed a day. I won. We returned the next day for our planned cesarean. Walking in to a birth not in labor is both bizarre and calm. After a bunch of easy paperwork, they prepared me for surgery.

It only took about seven minutes from the beginning of the procedure to Sadie’s birth. The whole surgery takes under an hour. The doctors were so casual. The talked about the new iPhone as they pulled my baby out of my abdomen. I heard a cry. “Who is going to announce it?” One of the technicians asked. Pause. I was dying. Someone, speak! My doctor said, “She’s a girl. You have a daughter”. And Sadie is right, I cried. Oh, did I cry.

My husband called my parents who and my mom answered the phone with the hopeful question, “Do we have an Abigail?” (My mom loves the name Abigail and was not only hoping for another granddaughter, but one named Abigail) Slightly confused, Matt responded, “We do have a girl, but we named her Sadie.” He heard people in the background. Their conversation was short. Next he phoned call my sisters, KC and Mara to share our news.

Afterwards, we heard that KC called Mara and said, “Exciting. Sara had her baby! Did you hear that they named her Katie?” That would have been odd as Mara’s daughter’s name is Katie. Mara said “No, it’s not Katie, it’s Sabie. I looked it up and Sabie is a town in South Africa. Strange, don’t you think?” KC said, “I don’t know about Sabie. Let me call Mom & Dad.” KC called my parents and asked “What is the name of Sara and Matt’s baby?” My mom responsded, “I don’t know. We couldn’t hear. We have friends over.”

KC called Matt and asked what our baby’s name was because none of them knew. Matt asked me “What’s wrong with your family?” I laughed and said if we have a third, we would text them the name.

I love revisiting Sadie’s birth story, especially on her BIRTHday. What’s your story? Don’t forget to share it. Again and again.