Oh Wow!
Located in the beautiful hills of West Marin, Spirit Rock is a center that hosts both day-long and overnight residential retreats. The teachings are grounded in Buddhist psychology, focusing on wisdom and compassion for the benefit of all beings. I had the privilege of spending four nights at Spirit Rock last week on a silent retreat focusing on the Four Elements: Earth, Air, Water, and Fire. This was my second retreat at Spirit Rock. As an alum, I looked forward to the beautiful nature, amazing organic vegetarian food, and fantastic staff and teachers. I was not disappointed.
The primary benefit of a silent retreat is the opportunity to take a step back from ordinary life. By removing all communications and other distractions, I had the opportunity to practice presence from the moment I woke up until I fell back to sleep at night. The longer I was on retreat, the more concentration I had to maintain presence. There is no way to stop thoughts - just notice them. On retreat, being quiet, I’d label my them as the “Top Ten Hits.” My playlist of thoughts are: planning, remembering, rehearsing and sending love to those I love. Repeat.
I started to notice not only what kind of thought arose, but I connected the thoughts to sensations in my body. Worry and fear made my heart beat faster. Lighter thoughts felt more expansive. I became curious. I thought of my friend Nyitur, who is from South Sudan and says “Oh Wow” all the time. I started saying that to myself all week when I noticed something inside or outside my body. I cultivated a spirit of wonder.
All conditions of this retreat are thoughtfully considered. The experience is designed so that the participants do not make decisions. Everything is laid out and served up beautifully. Around the entire campus were statues of Buddha, who to me, symbolizes calm and a sense that everything is all right just as it is. The campus has four residential halls, a dining hall, administrative offices and a large Dharma Hall where we meditate and listen to our teachers.
The first day, we were invited to pick a spot on the floor of the Dharma Hall which is our spot for the entire retreat. They provide plenty of cushions and props to help meditators be more comfortable. Chairs are also an option. I’d sit on one occasionally when I’d had enough of the floor. Part of the practice is to let go of what we think meditation is supposed to look like. We tune into our body and make decisions based on our preference. There’s not one way to meditate. Siting on the floor does not make anyone a “better” meditator. The practice is find a position stay still which proves to be difficult after hours of meditation. We also practiced walking meditation.
One of my insights of the retreat was that it was OK to be uncomfortable. Once I settled in, I tried not to move knowing that the feeling (and the sit) didn’t last forever . My right leg kept falling asleep. In my daily life, if my leg fell asleep, I’d automatically shake it to relive myself from the sensation. On retreat, I zoomed into the experience of my leg. I noticed what the physical sensations felt like: tingling, prickly, achy. And then I’d note where exactly I felt the sensations - the outside of my ankle up to my mid-calf. I’d breathe, knowing that I was not the first and only person to experience a leg falling asleep during a meditation. It’s a universal experience. I was kind to myself. Inevitability a few minutes later, the tingling stopped.
Impermanence in action! The notion of impermanence is a foundation for the Buddha’s teaching. My beautiful teacher Kate Munding gave a Dharma talk on the importance of knowing and being comfortable with impermanence. Everything is always changing. We can not control most things. When we fight impermanence, we suffer.
Part of the value of being at the beautiful retreat center was being in nature. After the California rains, the grass and leaves were alive with various vibrant shades of green. The creeks and rivers were flowing abundantly. I walked everyday on the well maintained hiking paths. We were blessed with beautiful weather. It was a nice break from cold snowy Utah.
It’s easy to fall into the routine of the day. I woke up before 6am and enjoyed coffee at dawn. The first sitting began at 6:45 a.m. Our day included seven sitting and six walking periods of 30-45 minutes apiece. Each morning one of our three teachers offered meditation instructions for the day. As stated on the Spirt Rock website, “The whole retreat is a succession of mindfulness training, breathing practices, deep awareness of the body and environment, meditations on the nature of feelings, and awareness of mind and the laws that govern it. “ I used themes of the Four Elements to ground myself deeper in my practice and noticed the true interconnectedness of everything around.
This type of retreat is called “Vipassana” which translates to “seeing things as they really are”. These are my insights from my retreat:
Slow down.
It’s possible to be intentional with everything I do.
I have a planning mind and have a tendency to want to be known feel special.
Sitting still is a practice.
The four elements exist inside and outside of me.
Not everything good has to be pleasant.
Positive mental qualities: calm, interest in the mind, contentment need to be cultivated.
Notice the five hindrances in and of the cushion: craving/desire, doubt, restlessness, ill-will, boredom/sleepiness.
I care about people; I care about their suffering; I care about their pain. I want to help people less fortunate and those who are sick and alone.
I can send goodwill energetically and it will effect people even without them knowing.
Mindful speech (spoken or written in email/text) and active listening brings peace and calm. Ask myself the question: is this what I want to put into the world?
Opportunities to practice mindfulness are everywhere. Notice hand on a door, brushing my teeth , tying a shoe, holding a baby.
I love retreat and feel grateful to have had the time, money and resources to go to Spirit Rock. I am filled with deep appreciation and love for my beautiful complicated life.